| When to Break
Up - Is It Now?
Knowing when to break up is a very difficult
decision. Many couples go through trying periods, and lows in their
relationships, and almost every relationship out there reaches an 'unexciting'
stage. All of this sometimes makes us wonder 'is it time to break
up?"
We've gathered some comments from across
the web, hoping that it will help you decide when it is time to break up,
or when you should stay together.
As usual, please leave your comments and
suggestions below regarding when to break up.
From
http://health.discovery.com/centers/
loverelationships/articles/leaving.html
"Should You Break
Up?
Everyone experiences low points in
their relationships. That's normal and most couples work through these times.
While the experts say there are no formulas for deciding when to break up,
there are signs to watch for. If you experience more than a few consistently
over a long period, it's probably time to move on: Here are some ways to
know if you should break it off.
* You're no longer getting what you
want or need from the relationship.
* You can no longer communicate with your partner.
* You no longer look forward to spending time alone with your partner.
* You criticize or micro-manage your partner.
* You compare your partner to others.
* You try to change your partner.
* You don't laugh anymore.
* You're doing all the giving (or all the getting).
* Your friends no longer like being around you when you're with your partner.
* You no longer feel good about yourself."
From
http://www.solvedating.com/breaking-up.html
"When to Break Up
Is breaking up the right decision
to make? Breaking up with your soulmate could condemn you to a lifetime of
regret. Not breaking up with a wrong person may ruin your chances of finding
your soulmate and cost your emotionally and financially. Sometimes, it may
cost you your life. "
From
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/
social-relationships/1922-how-when-break-up.html
"Q. How, and when to break
up?
I have been together with my girlfriend
for over 7 months now. We have a nice relationship in every way. However
I'm getting a bit bored, I love the first few months of a relationship when
everything is exciting and new, but after that it tends to become a bit dull...
7 months is too long...
So the idea of breaking up strikes
me for about a minute everyday, but I don't know how, and I'm not 100% sure
I should. In past relationships I or my partner has found someone else, so
it's been straightforward. Not this time, and I have the impression that
she really loves me and that I am her lifeline...
How to break this to her "kindly",
and should I do it now, or is it better to wait till after christmas/new
year?
A. I don't mean to be rude, but it
sounds like you have a lousy reason for breaking up with her. EVERY relationship
you EVER have will follow the course you descibe. If you've found someone
who really loves you, give her half a chance and stick with her for a
while.
If you really have to break up, definitely
do it before the holidays. It's easier in the long run not having all kinds
of gifts lying around to remind you of your ex.
A. I think you should break up with
her. Because she deserves someone better than you anyway, someone who will
respect her, talk with her and not just "dump" her when he gets
bored.
You need to have your selfish attitude
sorted out fast. Admittedly I don't know either of you, but it seems to me
you need to wake up to the fact that real life commitments needs hard work
and when worked at, then I am sure you will find the excitement you so
desire.
But if you don't see yourself as being
selfish in this situation, then yes, break up with her now and let her enjoy
her life rather than be with someone who just "can't be bothered" to work
at it."
From
http://www.everythingvalentinesday.com/
heart-breaks/time-to-breakup.html
"Are you wondering when is the right
time to break up and move on?
For sometime you have had a nagging
feeling that things do not feel the same in your relationship. You get irritated
more often, like hanging out with your friends more than with him/her, fight
over small issues and so on. Now, you start wondering whether it is the right
time to break up. When you start noticing the signs given below, understand
that it is the time to break up and move on"
From
http://media.www.lsureveille.com/media/
storage/paper868/news/2008/02/14/Opinion/For-Guys.A.
WhenToBreakUp.Checklist-2718735.shtml
"For guys: A when-to-break-up
checklist
Get rid of her if she
...
Doesn't allow "guys' night"
Calls every hour
Constantly says, "I miss you"
Holds back physical favors
Doesn't take compliments
Tries to trap you in a lie
Compares you to her ex
Whines
Gets jealous of everyone
Expects you to pay everything
Even after three months?
Talks about your "wedding"
Sets rules, i.e. "no cussing"
Expects gifts but never gives any
Won't socialize with your friends
Starts sentences with, "I'm too good for..."
Enjoys excessive PDA
"Problem solving" = fighting
Cries over everything
Constantly corrects you
Goes through your belong- ings, i.e. your wallet or cell
Prides being high maintenance
Prides being dramatic
Is a Facebook stalker
Lies
Is unable to hold a conversation
Doesn't appreciate you"
|
36 FREE
Breakup &
Relationship eBooks
Join our community and get
our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup and win your ex back
for free! |
Broken
Heart?
Find out how to mend your brokenheart caused by a broken relationship. Advice
from The Breakup Guru. |
Did
She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard
women want, and never get dumped again! |
Win
Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you
forever more! |
|
From
http://www.wikihow.com/Know-When-to-Break-Up
"How to Know When to Break
Up
So you and your boyfriend/girlfriend
are having a hard time and you don't know if you should break up. Here's
a guide to help you decide.
Steps
1. Think of all the good and bad times
you have had with this person. Write them down. Try writing the good things
in one colour and bad in another. Do the good times out-weigh the bad
times?
2. Consider what your life would be
like without this person. Can you imagine good times without him or
her?
3. Discuss this with your partner.
If you both feel you should break up, perhaps you should but if it is only
you, do some thinking. It could be you ruining the
relationship."
From
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/relationships/divorce/
decide/articles/0,,159_564655,00.html#continue
"Break-up to make-up - by Susan
Quilliam
Warning: time apart could rescue your
relationship
Zoe and Norman, Amanda and Les - barely
a week goes by without a celebrity couple announcing their 'separation'.
But often, the news of a celebrity separation is just a polite way of saying
that they're on non-speaking terms and their relationship has totally broken
down beyond repair.
However, in the real world, a separation
need not signify the end, but the start of a healing process - a positive
move towards saving a relationship that has hit the
rocks."
From
http://www.nedprod.com/Niall_stuff/vdiary/
archives/june06.html
"The alternatives are that she get
a job (unlikely to be in St. Andrews), or to return to Sweden. Either way
she won't be living with me next year, and this also means we probably break
up as well as putting me to a great deal of inconvenience and cost while
I find someone to replace her in our shared house. In many ways, her not
making her minimums is the biggest hurt she has caused me so far. It removes
all our options for staying together, and puts me in the unenviable position
of having to choose when to break up with her - not so soon as to not give
her enough time, but also not so late that she makes bad choices out of fear
of leaving such as enrolling for a general degree. I really, really don't
like that she has forced this on me - having to choose whether to dump her
for my & her own good. Having to think constantly if I am doing something
because I genuinely think it's best for her, or if I am doing it because
I fear her dragging me down with her. Back down to where I used to
be."
From
http://watkins.gospelcom.net/breakingup.htm
"Know when to break
up
It's time to call it quits
when:
1. You can't be yourself with your
partner.
2. You feel that the relationship is smothering you emotionally, socially,
or spiritually.
3. You sense there are differences in values, beliefs, and life goals.
4. One of you is moving a distance away.
5. You find yourself outgrowing the person.
6. You're in an emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive
relationship."
From
http://www.solvedating.com/break-up.html
"When to Break Up
Break Up
Immediately
1. When your lover rapes you.
2. When your lover molests your children.
3. When your lover threatens to kill you.
4. When your lover has a history of physically abusing you.
5. When your lover has a history of verbally abusing
you.
When Not to Break
Up
1. You are not emotionally strong
enough.
2. You are not financially strong enough."
Please
leave your comments , suggestions, and advice regarding when to break
up:
~~~~~
Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru, is the author
of How to Get Over a Breakup, an instantly
available online webBook, downloadable ebook, and website designed to help
you understand and heal from a broken heart, and How
to STOP Your Breakup, an instantly available webBook, downloadable
ebook, and website designed to help you STOP or reverse your breakup and
get your ex back. Both are available on this site and are free when you
join our
community.
Needing help, guidance
or support with your breakup? Understanding and a sympathetic ear? Or just
want to talk with others who are going through the same thing? Then join
our ever popular Message Boards and Forums, and visit with others who know
how the pain of breakup feels. Learn coping skills, hints, clues...or just
vent a little.Not only that, but all our wonderful webBooks are FREE when
you join! We invite you to join us...you can feel better today
Click Here
>> |
Comments (page 1 of 1):