| Signs of a
Break Up - Read These or Share Your Own!
What are some signs that your relationship
is heading towards a break up? Well, some obvious clues would be when your
partner stops calling you, or doesn't call as often, and starts dating others.
I would think that would be a definite give away right there!
But sometimes the signs of a break up
are more subtle and often go unnoticed until after the fact... and then we
sit back, smack ourselves on the forehead, and say "Wow, I should have seen
this coming!"
Here, below, are some signs of a break
up that we have found around the web. Be sure to add your own signs or comments
at the end of the page!
Signs of a Break Up
From
http://content.dating.indiatimes.com
/articleshow/67761.cms
"10
sure shot signs of a break up
Chetna Anand
•
Suddenly he/she becomes busy and starts avoiding
you.
•
Does not reply to your calls and if you try to reach makes some or the other
excuse hence avoiding any communication with
you.
•
When affection and public display of attention becomes less. You start feeling
left out and feel deprived of love which came easily
before.
•
When you start becoming not a priority but a
liability.
•
When suddenly you seem to be fighting on rather small issues, sometimes even
fights on petty issues can lead to a doom
•
You seem to get vibes that your partner has started hiding a lot of things
from you whereas earlier you were the first person to be aware of anything
and everything. People do not tend to lie for no reason, if she/he is not
being honest about where she/he is or who she/he is with there is rarely
a noble reason for the deception.
•
When all of a sudden your partner has nothing to share and you tend to feel
that you are not being given the right kind of
attention.
•
Respect in a relationship is essential, once it has been compromised the
relationship often follows suit. You just can't seem to do anything right.
Be it the style of your hair or the way you walk, if your steady suddenly
finds fault with everything you do s/he is probably trying to push you
away.
•
It becomes difficult to communicate and all of a sudden it feels as if you
are not compatible.
From
http://www.hopelessromantic.com/dating/
warning_signs_of_a_breakup.html
"Some
relationships do not last and there are usually warning signs. Each warning
sign in and of its self does not necessarily mean that your relationship
is about to come to an abrupt end. Rather several or all of the following
conditions usually are good signs that a break up is imminent. On some rare
occasions there are absolutely no signs of an approaching break
up.
1.
Communication breaks down.
2. Increasingly secretive.
3. Planning less for the future.
4. Suffering from a bad temper.
5. Avoiding conversation.
6. Preferring to spend more time with friends instead of together.
7. Critical of partner.
8. Friends notice diminishing relationship.
9. Feeling that relationship is failing.
10. Loss of appetite."
From
http://www.counseling.ilstu.edu/files/downloads
/articles/coping-breaking_up_hard.pdf
""Breaking-up" Is Hard To Do
by Kim Hays, Staff Counselor, Student Counseling
Services
....The
first signs of a "break-up" can often seem like a bad dream as you notice
you’re arguing more and more, and enjoying your time together less.
It’s hard to let go when you’ve invested so much in a relationship.
Too often a "break-up" takes its toll on our self-esteem. It’s very
common to blame yourself when a relationship ends and to think that if only
I were sexier, or more interesting, I would still have him or her in my life.
"Break-ups" are also hard because they can disrupt your entire social life.
The places you used to go, and the mutual friends you shared, can now become
awkward reminders of times passed. Worse yet, you may find that you failed
to invest enough time in other friendships so you’ve lost your love
and your best friend at a time when there aren’t other friends to help
you pick up the pieces."
From
http://www.asne.org/index.cfm?ID=2122
(on breaking up in the work place)
"....Editors said they didn’t
want to get involved in advising staffers about their relationships. And
they shouldn’t, said Blackwell. But sometimes involvement may be
unavoidable, like the editor confronted with a female reporter who’d
just learned she was pregnant by a male reporter. They wanted to get married,
but had no vacation time left so they had to explain their situation to the
editor, who gave them the extra time.
And sometimes learning of a romance
can be downright embarrassing, as one editor found when he walked into a
room and found two staffers in flagrante delicto.
Just as the signs of a romance can
be seen, so can the signs of a break-up. One editor recalled the discomfort
in the newsroom when a couple broke up, but noted there was nothing management
could, or should, do unless it became a performance issue — for instance,
not getting to work on time.
Bob Unger, executive editor of the
St. Joseph (Mo.) News-Press, said when he hired a reporter who was dating
someone already on his staff, he suggested to them that they realize that
it could be difficult for them to work together if their relationship ended.
“If it does go bad, don’t bring it into the newsroom,” he
told them."
From
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/
index?qid=20070107101612AADQQQ2
"Q. What are warning signs of a
break up?
My boyfriend and I have been going
out 2.5 years. Things have been going great, but lately, he's been kind of
reserved around me, like hiding something or backing off. I am still happy.
We fight, but we always have (even when we were friends), its just our
relationship, and we mean nothing by it, it's just good debate fun. He buys
me jewelry and comes and sees my performances, so i know i'm not just there
for 'one thing'. one thing that bothers me, is that he never wants to go
out, when we get together, its at his house, or at a party, he never wants
to go to the movies or out to eat. He also tries to be comforting to me when
i have a rough day, but at the same time, he'll yell at me and tell me to
'suck it up' and 'stick up for myself' and gets angry when i cry or get hurt!
I'm completely perplexed! I have no clue what to do! He still tells me that
he loves me, but i'm not sure what's going on! I could totally use a guy's
perspective on this!
A. It sounds like he is maybe to
comfortable in your relationship. The spark is gone, no longer is he trying
to impress you. I don't think he is going to break up with you, I just think
that he is way to comfortable around you. the same thing happened to me and
my gf, we got way to comfortable around each other and at the end of it 6
years later we split up because our relationship had just gotten to boring
and it felt like we missed out on having all this fun with our friends. The
grass is greener on the other side effect. I think you guys should talk about
this and fix it before it gets to the situation my ex and I are in now. Just
tell hiim that you want to go out and do stuff with him and if he isn't into
that kind of stuff find out why.
Also if he yells at you when you
are having a rough day maybe he is also going through a rough day too. But
that isn't an excuse for him to yell, you should let him know how you hate
it when he does that and communicate your feelings more to
him.
Hope everything works
out."
From
http://www.mercyzine.com/issue2/tarot.cfm
"Merciful Tarot - interpretations
by Shamanta
Interpretations:
Although interpretations can expose
a wide range of answers, mine will focus on the basic meanings at first.
A one card reading gives the outcome for the following two weeks. Unless
you have some knowledge or are experimenting, I cannot advise you
 to
choose a second card, nor a third for more investigation because of the cards'
interaction between each other. For this, you should take classes or private
lessons: check out my website located at www.shamanta.com for further
info.
13. Death: From a strictly sexual
POV, this might be the sign that you're willing to let yourself go but you
must deal with the right partner. Also, it is a period of sexual stress.
If there are signs of a break up, you must be prepared for the
worst."
From http://www.enotalone.com/forum/
showthread.php?t=86929
"I am very confused. I have been
dating a wonderful person for about 8 months and we have had a very open,
honest, healthy relationships. I am 26 and he is 29. No bumps, barely any
arguments. We spoke about our future and how happy we were to enter the next
phase (rings, weddings, living together, etc..) The only arugment we encountered
was about the fact that he didn't say "I love you". He has never said these
words to anyone. I was feeling it and we were talking about such serious
topics, I was uncertain as to why he didn't say it. He responded with his
actions speak loud and I trusted that- bc they did and this was backed up
with him discussing future plans. We were so so happy about our future together.
Then OUT OF THE BLUE, he flipped. He was overwhelmed with his professional
life and then he said he wanted space, feels pressure (meanwhile he put the
pressure on himself). He needed time. I said how much time, what do you mean
do you need a week, a month, 5 months and he replied "i hope it doesn't take
that long". What does he have an agenda in mind? I said what do you think
I am going to be here waiting? He replied "i hope you would wait but I can
understand why you wouldn't" He said "let me flip out". So I just tried my
best to hold it together and bring him to his senses but he said that "he
didnt want to be in this relationship anymore". So we left the conversation
- broken up. We were done. My fear is that he wanted space and he knows the
person I am and I really don't do well with space, thus his only choice to
think about things was to break up no matter how cruel and painful it was.
He had ample time to bring this up to me and we could have worked it out
but he showed no warning signs of a break up or him being unhappy. If anything
he kept it in-zero signs. This happened 5 days ago. I did nothing wrong.
I was faithful and devoted in our relationship and I am not blaming myself
one bit. I called on Sunday and he never returned my
call.
Does he need
time?
Will he comes to his
senses?
Its not like him to ignore my call-
does this mean he is over the relationship or is he trying to sort through
his emotions???
When we were breaking up he agreed
that he could be making the biggest mistake of his life. Someone please give
me some advice. Will calling push him further away?"
From
http://www.nexopia.com/profile.php?uid=597173
" What I don't like should be simple
enough to follow...
....I'm not one for handing out
sympathy, I dislike it when people come to me to get some. My room is never
clean. Uncooperative hair, having to wear a bra, being without Nathan, when
people (especially men) do not leave me alone, late-ness, my terrible habit
of ditching, annoyance, the random pork in cans of beans, not having any
jewelry, un-even nails. I HATE when people don't recognize the tell-tale
signs of a break up, are you mental? Large women in small apparel, speaking
of large, I hate the following large items, pj pants, curling irons, eyebrows,
voices, workloads. And, sex."
From
http://felsbestpageintheworld.com/archives/22#more-22
"6 signs of a break up - MSN - Filed
at 7:30 pm under Forwards by fel
Once again I gotta come out and
complain against something because it’s just way too stupid. Human beings
have stopped evolving, in terms of intelligence. I’m basing my claim
on this stupid MSN article titled “6 signs He’s About to Dump
You”. I didn’t think that anyone would write about something so
stupid. I was wrong. Ok, lets check out these reasons.
#1 Your Date Morphs Into Group
Dating.
Ok, women, the world doesn’t revolve around you. Sometimes, guys want
to do stuff with his buddies. Don’t give him some personal space and
he just might dump you. If you want something dedicated to you, buy yourself
a mirror.
#2 He’s Mr. Extreme Make
Over.
Ok, so now a guy’s caring about his looks as much as you care about
yours. How do we know you’re not cheating? 3 hours in front of a mirror?
You have about as much chance as cheating on him that he has on you.
NEXT!
#3 He’s cranky and critical.
Your boyfriend might just be turning old. Ever think of that? I’m cranky
and critical nearly every day of my life. Yet I don’t have an urge to
dump my girlfriend.
#4 Something’s Different in
the Bedroom.
Son-of-a-bitch! Maybe he’s tired! Ever think of that? I mean late nights
every day of the week will tire anyone out! Sheesh, give the guy a break,
whore!
#5 His Body Language Says ‘Get
Me Out Of Here’.
After all these previous complaints that I’ve heard, I’d want to
get out too.
#6 He’s hard to reach in every
sense of the word.
That’s pretty vague, so the article gave an example. ‘Do you find
yourself calling him more than you used to? Is it taking him a day to respond
to your emails when before he’d IM in 10 minutes?’ Ok, stop calling
the guy!! Maybe he needs some me time! And be grateful he’s responding
to your emails at all. Sheesh! He’s busy! I’d hate to be at work
and have some bitch call me every ten seconds. I’M WORKING! Leave me
alone. And what kinda guy Instant Messages 10 minutes after receiving an
email? As if any guy had THAT much time on his hands."
***
SCREW THE BITCH
Divorce Tactics for Men, by Dick
Hart
A no-holds-barred, one-sided look at
getting the most out of a divorce. You will learn to: * See the warning signs
of a break-up * Head-off the dirty tricks wives will use * Hide your assets,
income and private affairs * Move into your own place * Get the most out
of your lawyer * Win court battles * And much more. 1991, 5-1/2 x 8-1/2,
186 pp, worksheets, soft cover. 1-55950-069-7, 19174, 17.95
***
From
http://www.myexgf.com/being_dumped.php?
subaction=showcomments&id=1115769150
&archive=&start_from=&ucat=2&
Signs of a Break
Up
"Signs That She Is Going To Dump
You - posted by Sherm on 10 May 2005
There comes a time where the woman
you think you love will rip your heart out, stomp on it, feed it to her dog,
and tell friends that you have a small dick! These are the signs that the
bitch will be dumping you, so you'd better find a way to dump her first and
save your ego!
* She's been wearing an engagement
ring for the last 2 months, yet you've never proposed.
* Her weekly "girl's night out" has changed to Friday F**k Night and it includes
the sole company of Jeff, Todd, Vinny, Marcus, Mike and Rico.
* She comes home from a long day at work with her blouse inside out, her
hair all over the place and several white stains on her short black skirt.
* Her friends do nothing but point and laugh everytime they see you.
* A box of Trojan Magnums has replaced your box of Extended Pleasure condoms.
She's moving on to bigger and better.They always do.
* Her business trips with her boss include cruises to the Carribean and month
long trips to Paris.
* You start noticing men's underwear in your dresser that doesn't belong
to you.
* She starts caring about her appearance after years of dressing in sweats
and wifebeaters.
* Your Credit Cards are maxed, your bank account is drained and she's not
the least bit concerned.
* Her "blog" has her status as "single" and her hobbies include anonymous
gangbang bukkake parties.
* The college class she just started taking is 7 days a week and meets at
night.
* She has invited you to be a guest with her on Jerry Springer.
* Her once tight p**sy can now slide over your head with the great ease.
* She encourages you to go out with your friends to slam beers, watch football
and receive endless lap dances from strange women at seedy strip clubs.
* Everything you say is followed by her response of "Whatever, you f**king
dickless ass face!"
* She "paid" for a boob job off of her $6.00 an hour pay at The Burger Barn...
after 3 weeks of employment!
* She introduces you to new acquaintances as "an old friend of mine..."
* She leaves you voicemails and identifies herself using her first and last
name.
* Your picture is now adorned with your picture for the bullseye.
* Your other girlfriend just clued you in!"
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From http://www.alovelinksplus.com/
advice/signs_of_a_breakup.htm
"Signs Of A Break
Up
Decrease in contact: Contact between
you and your partner decreases, eventually causing you to spend less time
together.
Communication: You may see a decline in the amount of conversation you and
your partner have with each other. You may also avoid deep conversation.
Mood changes: Your partner’s mood changes, becoming very sensitive,
snippy, and argumentative.
Secretive: Your partner is secretive about where he/she is going or whom
they have been with.
Distant: You or your partner begin spending less time together and more time
with others. Other signs of becoming more distant include planning different
activities and sleeping in different rooms.
Criticism: Each of you seem to be more critical of each other, focusing more
on each other’s faults and flaws.
Here today, gone tomorrow: The discussions on the subject of your future
together begin to disappear. You and your partner may begin to limit your
plans for today and not the future.
Senses: You may have a gut feeling that there is something wrong with your
partner regarding your relationship.
Distant: You may see that your partner has been more distracted and
distant."
From
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article
/20623/5_signs_of_an_upcoming_breakup.html
"5 Signs of an Upcoming Break
Up
Partner Seems Reserved and
Detached.
Never Available to Take Your Phone Call.
Fighting about Little Insignificant Matters.
Partner Constantly Criticizes and Complains.
Partner Has a Habit of Streching the Truth."
From isnare.com
"The Signs Of A Break Up
Distant Behavior.
Avoidance.
Confrontation.
Disappearing Friends.
Threats and Ultimatums."
From
http://lists101.his.com/pipermail/
smartmarriages/2001-July/000702.html
"WARNING SIGNS OF A BREAK UP, By Karen S. Peterson, USA
TODAY
Beware of the subtle pressures that
can help steer a drifting marriage toward divorce, cautions William Doherty,
director of the marriage and family therapy program at the University of
Minnesota.
Many couples have become "full-time
parental service providers," giving their marriages away to overscheduled
kids and their own parental "scheduled hyperactivity," he says. "That leaves
precious little time for their marriage."
They also expect too much of each
other. "We are supposed to be good marital service providers. 'If you are
not making me happy, you are not meeting my needs.' "
A good marriage can be brought down
in two years, he says, "by focusing on what you are not getting out of the
relationship and how your partner fails to live up to your
expectations."
And finally, couples become victims
of "the slow drift south that is part of any long-term, intimate relationship.
In spite of our best efforts, if we don't consciously paddle our canoe, other
priorities will take over and we will drift" apart.
Doherty will elaborate on these
themes in a keynote speech at this week's Orlando marriage education conference.
They are the basis of his latest book, Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking
Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart (Guilford,
$21.95).
The idea of a split slowly gains
momentum over time, Doherty says. But warning signs can caution that a marriage
is sliding toward what he terms "an unnecessary
divorce."
He offers a quiz assessing whether
you are on the verge of a separation that still might be prevented. Comment
yes or no to these statements adapted from his book. See scoring
below:
You are beginning to claim that
you two were never really in love, although friends and family say you were
once crazy about each other.
You say your spouse never pays attention
to you, and yet you are busy every night with volunteer work, your child's
homework, a drink with friends and so on.
You complain bitterly to a friend
about your spouse's failings, but would tell a therapist that he or she is
"kind," or "a good parent."
You complain about your spouse to
friends or family, but would be speechless if they suggested thinking about
divorce.
You say you want to get on with
your life, but have canceled appointments with a divorce
lawyer.
You say you want to work things
out with your spouse, but your fantasies about an affair could become very
real.
You say you want emotional connection,
but if your spouse were unavailable, you would watch TV instead of calling
a friend.
You despair that things won't get
better, even when you know your spouse is trying to
change.
SCORE: If you answered yes to three,
get professional help before deciding about your
marriage."
From http://www.askmen.com/dating/
heidi_150/150_dating_girl.html
Break Up Signs - Signs She's On Her
Way Out
"1- She calls you and/or returns
your calls less frequently.
2- She prefers to go out with her girlfriends.
3- She thwarts your attempts at PDA.
4- She avoids referring to you as her boyfriend.5- Her career suddenly becomes
a priority.
6- She draws attention to the views you don't have in common.
7- She highlights mismatched long-term expectations.
8- She loses interest in sex.
9- She picks fights with you.
From
http://breakup-girl.com
End of a Relationship
- Warning Signs of a Break Up
One or both partners may exhibit the following
warning signs and changes:
Contact:
Contact between
partners diminishes. Phone calls lessen in frequency or length, emails drop
off, and time spent together becomes less and less.
Mood Changes &
Irritability:
One or both partners may be edgy and are often
in a bad or depressed mood. Little things about their partner may irritate
them and they seem more touchy, sensitive, argumentive, and hypervigilent.
Secretive:
Is your partner suddenly secretive about where
they are going, or who they've been with? Do they whisper when speaking on
the phone, or tell the party calling that they'll call them back?
The Here & Now:
Does one partner suddenly stop talking about
the future, or limit plans to 'today'. Does making plans for upcoming events
suddenly
stop?
Separation:
Does one or bot partners seem to be spending
more time with friends, or visiting their family. Do you or your partner
some how end up in separate rooms during the evening, or one of you spend
more time than usual falling asleep on the couch? Do you plan separate weekend
activities?
Communication:
Does one or both partners avoid in depth
conversations, preferring to answer questions or inquiries with a quick 'yes'
or 'no'? Does one or both partners get overly absorbed in a t.v. show, or
book? Is the table quiet during meals, and the mornings spent with you or
your partner's nose stuck in the newspaper?
Criticism:
Does one or both partners suddenly seem over
critical of the other, concentrating on the other's flaws or faults, or
perceiving faults where there really isn't any? Does one or both partners
exhibit 'delusions', seeing things that are wrong with their partner or
relationship, where in reality these really don't
exist?
Intuitive:
Do you just have an 'unexplainable' feeling that
there is something wrong with your partner, or the relationship? Do you 'sense'
or have a 'gut-feeling' that something is
amiss?
Distant:
Does one or both partners seem to be distant,
distracted, or miles away in their thoughts? Is one or both partners
daydreaming more than usual?
~~ Tigress
Luv, The Break Up Guru
Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru, is the author
of How to Get Over a Breakup, an instantly
available online webBook, downloadable ebook, and website designed to help
you understand and heal from a broken heart, and How
to STOP Your Breakup, an instantly available webBook, downloadable
ebook, and website designed to help you STOP or reverse your breakup and
get your ex back. Both are available on this site and are free when you
join our
community.
Please leave your signs of a break up, comments,
or suggestions:
~~~~~
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