a Break Up - because it's broken!
Tigress Luv, The Break Up
Guru, is the author of How to Get Over a
Breakup, an instantly available online webBook, downloadable ebook,
and website designed to help you TRULY understand and heal from a broken
heart, and How to STOP Your Breakup, an instantly
available webBook, downloadable ebook, and website designed to help you STOP
or reverse your breakup and get your ex back. Both are available on this
site and are free when you join our
"By Greg Behrendt and Amiira
(It's simply amazing
how many 'break up experts' just 'popped up' overnight in the recent years,
From their book,
Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up
He just broke up with you. So really,
he's not that great a guy, unless you are just an awful person, which we
don't think you are. Or you broke it off with him, so he can't be that great
or you would still be together. It's the paradox of a break-up. There seems
to be a need to say nice things about the person who just broke your heart,
and we get that. You don't want to seem bitter, and you don't want to tell
the world that the guy you gave your heart and a large part of your time
to is an asshole. Your pride doesn't need the additional blow of having your
friends and family think you're a loser for being with him in the first place.
It's okay if you don't want to be seem petty or knock down someone you once
HOWEVER, we must warn you that there
are two conditions that afflict many refugees of recent breakups. First is
what we call Revisionist Romance Disorder. RRD, like an acute case of 20/20
Blindsight, creates an inability to see the past as it actually happened.
Additionally, those who suffer from Revisionist Romance Disorder cannot control
the need to rewrite their relationship to match the feelings they want to
have about it. With RRD, an incessant cheater becomes "a really good guy"
who was just scared of getting too close. The drunk that forgot your birthday
becomes "the one that got away." It's an easily identifiable disease, but
like all afflictions, the first step to overcoming it is to admit you have
a problem. And your problem is that if you truly want to move on, you need
to stop rewriting the past and see your relationship for what it was: the
good and the bad, the ups and downs, the baffling, the maddening, and the
"Can you really get over someone this
POST: Hey all, I don't know if you
remember me from my earlier posts about me and my now exboyfriend. He kept
going back and forth from knowing what he wanted, to not, and my feelings
couldn't take the constant back and forth. I broke up with him a week ago
today and I read the book
Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up
Buddy" which put
a lot of things about the break up in perspective, like making sure you look
at the relationship for what it was, instead of how you wanted it to be,
or how great it was in the beginning. But honestly, I feel like I'm not
completely 100% over it, but almost. I really truly feel like I'm already
moving on, is that normal? We dated for 5 months with one 2 week break, but
I honestly feel like I'm already done with the hard part of it. Most breakups
have taken me several months to get over, why is this one
POST: May I kindly suggest that read
of your own post, will give you an answer. viz..."You are almost over it....."I
honestly feel that I amover the hard part"..." I am already moving on". These
are all part of the reasons why you are so far advanced with this break up.
The other reason is also with your own words, fron your own
reading...."It's Called a Breakup
very clearly....making sure that you look at the relationship for what it
was, instead of how you wanted it to be, or how great it was in the beginning.
Bluntly, but courtesously put, it never really was, so there is very little
to hang on to; and also you have gained more experience and hopefully maturity
since the last "break-up" and are able to wear theselife experiences with
more aplomb..... Go and be happy, leave the past, the sun has set, never
to rise again on those days."
"How to Get Over Your First
Perhaps nothing is as painful as getting
over your first love. It's not just any old break-up; this is the boy/girl
who taught you what it means to fall in love. You thought you'd spend the
rest of your lives together. You have a million and one inside jokes and
memories that turn your heart to goo. Now that it's over, you're scared to
death you'll never find anyone to ever replace them. Well, get over it! It's
called a breakup 'cause it's broken!
1. Cut off all communication with
2. Realize that just because this relationship is over, it doesn't mean that
you'll never find love again.
3. Cry on your best friends' shoulders - this is what they are there for.
4. You love your best friends, so be considerate of them.
5. In retrospect, you will probably only remember what you love about your
ex, and your happiest memories together.
6. Use your breakup as an impetus to become the person you have always wanted
7. Do not hook up with your ex.
8. Resist the urge to have a rebound.
9. Buy a break-up book (just one) that won't look too pathetic on your bookshelf.
(We highly suggest
How to Get Over a Break Up by the Break
10. Cry yourself to sleep if you must, and load up your iPod with the saddest
love songs you can think of.
11. Do anything you can to make yourself feel sexy and desirable.
12. Endure the pain and loneliness bravely...with time, the pain will subside
although you sure as heck don't believe that right now.
13. Try to avoid friends who are very close with your ex, or common friends,
they are bound to talk about them and bring you down
to Win Back Their Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer
attracted to you
Join our community and get
our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup and win your ex back
Find out how to mend your brokenheart caused by a broken relationship. Advice
from The Breakup Guru.
She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard
women want, and never get dumped again!
Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you
"The moral of that story is that I
didn't deserve to be on the back burner and neither do you. The only way
to realize that you are on the back burner is to love yourself and listen
to what your instincts are telling you. It's called a break-up for a reason.
I hate to say this, but you can't be friends with an ex. Let me rephrase
that, you shouldn't be friends with an ex. I know that there are situations
when you can be friends with an ex. I still talk to one of my ex-boyfriends.
That happened only after a long time of not talking to him, and after both
of us had moved on with our lives and to someone else. Usually if you break
up with someone and you try to be friends, it doesn't work because one of
you may still have deep feelings for the other. Or you're only keeping them
around in case you can't find anyone else to fill their shoes. Either way,
it's not a true, functioning relationship."
"Q. Does anyone know a good way to
get over a bf?
me and my bf split up and i want to
get over him fast so if he does come back i can tell him where to go and
not in the polite terms either.
A. it takes time if you really loved
him.. sounds like you hate him and sounds like he did something really bad
to hurt you. in which case you have to keep reminding yourself that he broke
up with someone as amazing as you.
Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.. either one or both of you have
lost it's value. you need to get busy doing other things, and find someone
else to love - but When you are Ready.. because Don't have just a rebound
guy to hurt. but just stay busy with things you used to love to do before
you got busy with him, or even come up with new hobbies. good luck! you Will
move on, and you Will find someone new too! - someone who will treat you
how you deserve!"
"Nick accepted The Cosmopolitan Fun
and Fearless Man of the year award in LA.
Nick Lachey reportedly poked fun at
his marriage break-up with Jessica Simpson when he was honored by Cosmopolitan
magazine Tuesday but confessed that he was "afraid" of life as a single man.
In his acceptance speech Nick told guests, "I'm really intrigued by this
Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up
Buddy' ... I wish
I'd read that a few years ago ... It's a little ironic to receive the Fun
and Fearless Award right now because, in some ways, I feel that, at this
point in my life, I've never been more afraid.""
" Patting my own
Y'all know I just can't resist the
urge to share compliments I get. One of my loyal subjects was quite down-and-out
over the loss of his sweetheart and he sought out advice from Her Highness
quite a few times. Naturally I gave him my best pearls of wisdom, which include
"it's called a 'break up' cause folks need a break," "absence makes the heart
grow fonder, so get lost so she can get fond," and the ever popular "you
need to get yourself together.""
"1) BAD: Getting involved with a guy
who wasn't good enough for me in the first place whom I allowed to break
my heart not once, not twice but three f**king times in a matter of a year.
After my recent romp, I can assure you that I definitely got him out of my
system for good.
GOOD: To go back to using my "relationship
rear view mirror". Not looking back so I don't get back with an ex. EVER.
Period. It's called a break up because it is broken. F**king
"It's called a break-up, not a
Q. Dear Jodi,
I just got out of a relationship with,
who I thought, was the love of my life. I am totally heartbroken by this
and I don't think that I can ever get over it. How can I move on without
completely losing my mind?
A. I think Carole King said it best
with, "Breaking up is hard to do." But what they really should've said was
"Breaking up will make you want to pull your hair out, drink heavily, stop
bathing, put 'Chasing Cars' on repeat on your iPod, stay up until 5 a.m.
and sleep until 4 p.m., check your phone like it's your job in case he/she
calls, become a professional Facebook stalker to see when that relationship
status will shift over to single and inevitably, breaking up will make you
want to die."
Give it to us straight, Carole: Breaking
It is one of the worst things any
single person can experience more than once. On college campuses, however,
this awful experience seems to be a very regular occurrence. Relationships
come and go in that short four-year time span, but break-ups go hand in hand
with every relationship status change on Facebook.
I have always thought that college
is a great place to meet your future spouse, because everyone's single,
everyone's horny and everyone's drunk. But 18-22 isn't exactly the ideal
age for a long-term commitment, so if you're in college, there is probably
a break-up or two right around the corner."
"I'm all for a girl maintaining an
identity of her own, and not being sucked into breathing his air 24/7...
and I think it does work to be direct about what you want and expect - as
long as you're nice about it, of course - because if you don't tell him,
he will never know, and you only have yourself to blame for not asking for
what you want. And for god's sake, don't settle! you'll only kick yourself
when you meet MR Right and you're already married to Mr
Cool AC said...
Amen to all that! Can I add another
Called a Breakup Because It's Broken!"
Don't chase after a dude who made
it clear "he's just not that into you" thinking you can get him. (it doesn't
work) Use the Las Fashionistas techniques to get a new
"Subject : Is he missing me in the
Well, It depends. If the last few
months we're filled with fighting..chances are he saw it coming. And could
have been long on the road of recovery before you were. Thing is hun, they
are assholes even if they still love you. If you get along it's so much harder
to move on. So they are the biggest dicks they can be. (In my experince picking
up a girl 3 days after the break) And of course yes he could still love you.
But hun, even if he does that isn't a guaranty he'll come back/take you back.
In less it's a break. And he's moving to Africa for a year. Best to call
it over.(for good) I know what it's like, you hate hearing the truth from
friends, family, you think "But, WE were different!" "WE were REALLY inlove!"
And worst of all you begin to hate going to family events to hear "Oh you're
single..." Every woman, has or will be there in their life time. And If I
could i'd see to it no one had to feel that way. But that's the way it goes.
SO! The best thing to do is injoy your life. After my 2 and a half year break
up I was mortified. And just as you said cryed every day, I lost 20lbs. Didn't
eat for 2 weeks straight, my father had to drag me out of my house and invited
me over constintly.And here is what I did. I made a stop at Chapters, Picked
"It's Called a Breakup
Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy" Read
the whole thing
there (sat in a nice comfy chair), I when on some dates. I had a fling with
a yummy british guy Wink and a few months later found the love of my life.
Let's look at it this way too, You sound rather sucessful, plus have some
great girlfriends. This guy had NO job, and does not even own a house of
his own. You'll do much better. We all do.:D Good liuck sweet heart.
"You think you know everything about
love, don't you ? You think you know men. I know you've been hurt before
but that does not say anything at all. You say you've let go but why do you
still speak of him ? Why is the hurt still fresh in you
I know it's hard when you've just
broken up. I know it's hard to know he's cheated and replaced you with a
younger version. I know it's hard to let go when he's said "It's not you,
it's me". When he's the one who don't want you anymore.
It's not about him seeing a new woman
and wanting to replace you.
Sometimes, it's just time. Time to
part ways. Maybe you'll meet each other again. Maybe you'll be friends. Maybe
you'll get together again. No-one can tell the future. Their own future.
Maybe the break-up is bad, maybe it's good but it's called a break-up because
it is broken up."
Please leave your samples, comments, suggestions,
and advice below - after all, it's called a break up because it's
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Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru, is the author
of How to Get Over a Breakup, an instantly
available online webBook, downloadable ebook, and website designed to help
you understand and heal from a broken heart, and How
to STOP Your Breakup, an instantly available webBook, downloadable
ebook, and website designed to help you STOP or reverse your breakup and
get your ex back. Both are available on this site and are free when you
Needing help, guidance
or support with your breakup? Understanding and a sympathetic ear? Or just
want to talk with others who are going through the same thing? Then join
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