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It's Called a Break Up (because it's broken)
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breakup community banner How to Win Back Their Attraction!
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It's Called a Break Up - because it's broken!

Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru, is the author of How to Get Over a Breakup, an instantly available online webBook, downloadable ebook, and website designed to help you TRULY understand and heal from a broken heart, and How to STOP Your Breakup, an instantly available webBook, downloadable ebook, and website designed to help you STOP or reverse your breakup and get your ex back. Both are available on this site and are free when you join our community.

From http://p1.pers.re4.yahoo.com/static/
relationships_breakup-broken

"By Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt (It's simply amazing how many 'break up experts' just 'popped up' overnight in the recent years, isn't it?!)

From their book, "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy"

He just broke up with you. So really, he's not that great a guy, unless you are just an awful person, which we don't think you are. Or you broke it off with him, so he can't be that great or you would still be together. It's the paradox of a break-up. There seems to be a need to say nice things about the person who just broke your heart, and we get that. You don't want to seem bitter, and you don't want to tell the world that the guy you gave your heart and a large part of your time to is an asshole. Your pride doesn't need the additional blow of having your friends and family think you're a loser for being with him in the first place. It's okay if you don't want to be seem petty or knock down someone you once cared about.

HOWEVER, we must warn you that there are two conditions that afflict many refugees of recent breakups. First is what we call Revisionist Romance Disorder. RRD, like an acute case of 20/20 Blindsight, creates an inability to see the past as it actually happened. Additionally, those who suffer from Revisionist Romance Disorder cannot control the need to rewrite their relationship to match the feelings they want to have about it. With RRD, an incessant cheater becomes "a really good guy" who was just scared of getting too close. The drunk that forgot your birthday becomes "the one that got away." It's an easily identifiable disease, but like all afflictions, the first step to overcoming it is to admit you have a problem. And your problem is that if you truly want to move on, you need to stop rewriting the past and see your relationship for what it was: the good and the bad, the ups and downs, the baffling, the maddening, and the ridiculous."

From http://www.forum.bradsawyer.com
/archive/index.php?t-112.html

"Can you really get over someone this fast?

POST: Hey all, I don't know if you remember me from my earlier posts about me and my now exboyfriend. He kept going back and forth from knowing what he wanted, to not, and my feelings couldn't take the constant back and forth. I broke up with him a week ago today and I read the book "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy" which put a lot of things about the break up in perspective, like making sure you look at the relationship for what it was, instead of how you wanted it to be, or how great it was in the beginning. But honestly, I feel like I'm not completely 100% over it, but almost. I really truly feel like I'm already moving on, is that normal? We dated for 5 months with one 2 week break, but I honestly feel like I'm already done with the hard part of it. Most breakups have taken me several months to get over, why is this one different?

POST: May I kindly suggest that read of your own post, will give you an answer. viz..."You are almost over it....."I honestly feel that I amover the hard part"..." I am already moving on". These are all part of the reasons why you are so far advanced with this break up. The other reason is also with your own words, fron your own reading...."It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken', ....and very clearly....making sure that you look at the relationship for what it was, instead of how you wanted it to be, or how great it was in the beginning. Bluntly, but courtesously put, it never really was, so there is very little to hang on to; and also you have gained more experience and hopefully maturity since the last "break-up" and are able to wear theselife experiences with more aplomb..... Go and be happy, leave the past, the sun has set, never to rise again on those days."

From http://www.wikihow.com
/Get-Over-Your-First-Love

"How to Get Over Your First Love

Perhaps nothing is as painful as getting over your first love. It's not just any old break-up; this is the boy/girl who taught you what it means to fall in love. You thought you'd spend the rest of your lives together. You have a million and one inside jokes and memories that turn your heart to goo. Now that it's over, you're scared to death you'll never find anyone to ever replace them. Well, get over it! It's called a breakup 'cause it's broken!

Steps

1. Cut off all communication with your ex.
2. Realize that just because this relationship is over, it doesn't mean that you'll never find love again.
3. Cry on your best friends' shoulders - this is what they are there for.
4. You love your best friends, so be considerate of them.
5. In retrospect, you will probably only remember what you love about your ex, and your happiest memories together.
6. Use your breakup as an impetus to become the person you have always wanted to be.
7. Do not hook up with your ex.
8. Resist the urge to have a rebound.
9. Buy a break-up book (just one) that won't look too pathetic on your bookshelf.
(We highly suggest How to Get Over a Break Up by the Break Up Guru herself!)
10. Cry yourself to sleep if you must, and load up your iPod with the saddest love songs you can think of.
11. Do anything you can to make yourself feel sexy and desirable.
12. Endure the pain and loneliness bravely...with time, the pain will subside although you sure as heck don't believe that right now.
13. Try to avoid friends who are very close with your ex, or common friends, they are bound to talk about them and bring you down inadvertently."


How to Win Back Their Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer attracted to you

36 FREE Breakup & Relationship eBooks
Join our community and get
our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup and win your ex back for free!

Broken Heart?
Find out how to mend your brokenheart caused by a broken relationship. Advice from The Breakup Guru.
Did She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard women want, and never get dumped again!
Win Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you forever more!


From http://media.www.slccglobelink.com/
media/storage/paper442/news/2011/02/15/
Advice/Les-Is.More-2723268.shtml

"The moral of that story is that I didn't deserve to be on the back burner and neither do you. The only way to realize that you are on the back burner is to love yourself and listen to what your instincts are telling you. It's called a break-up for a reason. I hate to say this, but you can't be friends with an ex. Let me rephrase that, you shouldn't be friends with an ex. I know that there are situations when you can be friends with an ex. I still talk to one of my ex-boyfriends. That happened only after a long time of not talking to him, and after both of us had moved on with our lives and to someone else. Usually if you break up with someone and you try to be friends, it doesn't work because one of you may still have deep feelings for the other. Or you're only keeping them around in case you can't find anyone else to fill their shoes. Either way, it's not a true, functioning relationship."

From http://answers.yahoo.com/question
/index?qid=20110303113627AApSwBW

"Q. Does anyone know a good way to get over a bf?

me and my bf split up and i want to get over him fast so if he does come back i can tell him where to go and not in the polite terms either.

A. it takes time if you really loved him.. sounds like you hate him and sounds like he did something really bad to hurt you. in which case you have to keep reminding yourself that he broke up with someone as amazing as you. and it's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.. either one or both of you have thought the relationship has lost it's value. you need to get busy doing other things, and find someone else to love - but When you are Ready.. because Don't have just a rebound guy to hurt. but just stay busy with things you used to love to do before you got busy with him, or even come up with new hobbies. good luck! you Will move on, and you Will find someone new too! - someone who will treat you how you deserve!"

From http://bricksandstones.blogspot.com/
2006_02_16_archive.html

"Nick accepted The Cosmopolitan Fun and Fearless Man of the year award in LA.

Nick Lachey reportedly poked fun at his marriage break-up with Jessica Simpson when he was honored by Cosmopolitan magazine Tuesday but confessed that he was "afraid" of life as a single man. In his acceptance speech Nick told guests, "I'm really intrigued by this book. It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy' ... I wish I'd read that a few years ago ... It's a little ironic to receive the Fun and Fearless Award right now because, in some ways, I feel that, at this point in my life, I've never been more afraid.""

From http://www.dearqueenan.com/blog/2006/05
/patting-my-own-back.html

" Patting my own back

Y'all know I just can't resist the urge to share compliments I get. One of my loyal subjects was quite down-and-out over the loss of his sweetheart and he sought out advice from Her Highness quite a few times. Naturally I gave him my best pearls of wisdom, which include "it's called a 'break up' cause folks need a break," "absence makes the heart grow fonder, so get lost so she can get fond," and the ever popular "you need to get yourself together.""

From http://trustmeimablonde.blogspot.com/
2006_12_01_trustmeimablonde_archive.html

"1) BAD: Getting involved with a guy who wasn't good enough for me in the first place whom I allowed to break my heart not once, not twice but three f**king times in a matter of a year. After my recent romp, I can assure you that I definitely got him out of my system for good.

GOOD: To go back to using my "relationship rear view mirror". Not looking back so I don't get back with an ex. EVER. Period. It's called a break up because it is broken. F**king A."

From http://media.www.loyolamaroon.com/
media/storage/paper542/news/2011/01/12/
LifeTimes/Its-Called.A.BreakUp.Not.A.Breakdown-2628016.shtml

"It's called a break-up, not a breakdown

Q. Dear Jodi,

I just got out of a relationship with, who I thought, was the love of my life. I am totally heartbroken by this and I don't think that I can ever get over it. How can I move on without completely losing my mind?

-Lovelorn at Loyola

A. I think Carole King said it best with, "Breaking up is hard to do." But what they really should've said was "Breaking up will make you want to pull your hair out, drink heavily, stop bathing, put 'Chasing Cars' on repeat on your iPod, stay up until 5 a.m. and sleep until 4 p.m., check your phone like it's your job in case he/she calls, become a professional Facebook stalker to see when that relationship status will shift over to single and inevitably, breaking up will make you want to die."

Give it to us straight, Carole: Breaking up sucks.

It is one of the worst things any single person can experience more than once. On college campuses, however, this awful experience seems to be a very regular occurrence. Relationships come and go in that short four-year time span, but break-ups go hand in hand with every relationship status change on Facebook.

I have always thought that college is a great place to meet your future spouse, because everyone's single, everyone's horny and everyone's drunk. But 18-22 isn't exactly the ideal age for a long-term commitment, so if you're in college, there is probably a break-up or two right around the corner."

From http://lasfashionistas.blogspot.com/2005/10/
snag-your-man.html

"I'm all for a girl maintaining an identity of her own, and not being sucked into breathing his air 24/7... and I think it does work to be direct about what you want and expect - as long as you're nice about it, of course - because if you don't tell him, he will never know, and you only have yourself to blame for not asking for what you want. And for god's sake, don't settle! you'll only kick yourself when you meet MR Right and you're already married to Mr Wrong!

Cool AC said...

Amen to all that! Can I add another one??

"It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken!"

Don't chase after a dude who made it clear "he's just not that into you" thinking you can get him. (it doesn't work) Use the Las Fashionistas techniques to get a new one!"

From http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk
/index.php/chatroom/topic/417

"Subject : Is he missing me in the slightest?

Well, It depends. If the last few months we're filled with fighting..chances are he saw it coming. And could have been long on the road of recovery before you were. Thing is hun, they are assholes even if they still love you. If you get along it's so much harder to move on. So they are the biggest dicks they can be. (In my experince picking up a girl 3 days after the break) And of course yes he could still love you. But hun, even if he does that isn't a guaranty he'll come back/take you back. In less it's a break. And he's moving to Africa for a year. Best to call it over.(for good) I know what it's like, you hate hearing the truth from friends, family, you think "But, WE were different!" "WE were REALLY inlove!" And worst of all you begin to hate going to family events to hear "Oh you're single..." Every woman, has or will be there in their life time. And If I could i'd see to it no one had to feel that way. But that's the way it goes. SO! The best thing to do is injoy your life. After my 2 and a half year break up I was mortified. And just as you said cryed every day, I lost 20lbs. Didn't eat for 2 weeks straight, my father had to drag me out of my house and invited me over constintly.And here is what I did. I made a stop at Chapters, Picked up "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy" Read the whole thing there (sat in a nice comfy chair), I when on some dates. I had a fling with a yummy british guy Wink and a few months later found the love of my life. Let's look at it this way too, You sound rather sucessful, plus have some great girlfriends. This guy had NO job, and does not even own a house of his own. You'll do much better. We all do.:D Good liuck sweet heart. "

From http://dieselfire.blogspot.com/
2005_12_01_archive.html

"You think you know everything about love, don't you ? You think you know men. I know you've been hurt before but that does not say anything at all. You say you've let go but why do you still speak of him ? Why is the hurt still fresh in you ?

I know it's hard when you've just broken up. I know it's hard to know he's cheated and replaced you with a younger version. I know it's hard to let go when he's said "It's not you, it's me". When he's the one who don't want you anymore.

It's not about him seeing a new woman and wanting to replace you.

Sometimes, it's just time. Time to part ways. Maybe you'll meet each other again. Maybe you'll be friends. Maybe you'll get together again. No-one can tell the future. Their own future. Maybe the break-up is bad, maybe it's good but it's called a break-up because it is broken up."

Please leave your samples, comments, suggestions, and advice below - after all, it's called a break up because it's broken!

No comments NO MORE due to spambots

~~~~~

Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru, is the author of How to Get Over a Breakup, an instantly available online webBook, downloadable ebook, and website designed to help you understand and heal from a broken heart, and How to STOP Your Breakup, an instantly available webBook, downloadable ebook, and website designed to help you STOP or reverse your breakup and get your ex back. Both are available on this site and are free when you join our community.

Needing help, guidance or support with your breakup? Understanding and a sympathetic ear? Or just want to talk with others who are going through the same thing? Then join our ever popular Message Boards and Forums, and visit with others who know how the pain of breakup feels. Learn coping skills, hints, clues...or just vent a little.Not only that, but all our wonderful webBooks are FREE when you join! We invite you to join us...you can feel better today Click Here >>

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National Break Up Day
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Break Up Advice
Break Up Survival
Break Up Text Messages
How to Break Up With Your Boyfriend
Break Up Day
How to Break Up With Someone
Break Up Story
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How to Break Up With Your Girlfriend
Signs of a Break Up
After a Break Up
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The Girl's Guide to Surviving a Break Up
Break Up Girl
Break Up to Make Up
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It's Called a Break Up (Because it's Broken)
How to Stop a Break Up
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Break Up Survivor
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Break Up Spells
Reasons to Break Up
How to Handle a Break Up
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Win Your Ex Back

The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up
The essential female companion from the first moment he walks out of your life! The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up offers step-by-step advice for getting over him.

The Hell with Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart
Finally a book of poetry that describes every emotion you go through when you are in love and heart broken. This book is amazing and wonderful. I recommend it to who ever loves poetry and ever had a broken heart.

He's Just Not That Into You (The Newly Expanded Edition): The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
It seems like everywhere you turn the phrase "He's just not that into you" is being thrown around. And for good reason! The ladies are finally done waiting by the phone - hey, why sit at home for the phone to ring when it's so obvious that he's just not that into you?

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit?
In easy psychological terms, this book helps a woman understand why a man may react negatively to her even when she feels she's doing everything right for a relationship. With different female personalities portrayed, the reader will find themselves fitting one or more of the profiles.

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