| How to Survive
a Break Up - What Now?
Okay, just when you thought it couldn't
get any worse, you now have to learn how to survive a break up! Yes, once
again the break up was the easy part compared to your emotional ability and
the work needed to survive it.
Be prepared to hurt, and cry, and be angry,
and be scared, and lose all sense of self-esteem. Then be prepared to wake
up one morning and say 'enough is enough!'
Yes, the good news is that you CAN SURVIVE
A BREAK UP...you just have to learn how to work through it step-by-step,
and that you can't skip any of the steps along the way.
Below we have hints and suggestions taken
from around the web on how to survive a break up. Be sure to add your own
suggestions or comments at the end of the page!
Surviving Breaking Up
From
http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-a-Break-up-(girl)
" How to Survive a Break up
(girl)
How to survive a break up with grace
and dignity. Steps for getting over that certain guy and leaving with your
head held high.
1. Do not cry in front of him, you
don’t want to look like a basket case and make him think that he’s
making the right decision.
2. Get in the car and let out a good
scream when you’re at least two blocks away from his
house.
3. Drive to your best friend’s
house for a shoulder to cry on.
4. CRY….have a long, good
cry.
5. Eat plenty of ice cream; your emotions
deserve it.
6. Box up all the things that he gave
you, or that remind you of him.
7. Print out all emails he sent you;
gather up all letters he wrote you...
8. Cut off all contact with him for
at least a month...
9. If he goes to your school, always
look good.
10. When he does come back around,
(because you’re too great of a girl for him to not come back), make
him work for your attention.
11. The rest is up to
you!"
From http://hiddenlake.blogspot.com/
2006/08/how-to-survive-break-up.html
"How to survive a break
up
Been a few days since my last post.
Blogs are full of "no kidding" advice that seem so trite i.e. obvious. However
you might not know that your number one enemy after a breakup is silence.
All it does is let your brain continue its maddening pace at trying to resolve
your problem. Its best to let your mind work itself out while you sleep.
Watch a movie, turn on the tv, or even much better put on your favorite jam
music and sing. Play it long and loud, and for heavens sake dont you dare
play anything depressing."
From
http://www.breakinguptips.com/index.php/21'
"How To Survive A Break
Up
The following is a list of things
you can do to help you Survive a Break up.
It is a good thing to be with friends
and family as much as possible after a break up.
A healthy way to work through your
feelings is by writing about the break up and the way you feel during the
healing period.
Even though many people may disagree,
it works if you cry one good time, to get all of your emotions
out.
Get a journal and write down what
you have learned from the relationship, about yourself, relationships, and
life.
Create time to do activities you
enjoy.
It is important not to engage in
self-destructive behaviors such as blaming yourself for the break up or not
caring for yourself.
Do not expect to get over the relationship
quickly.
Take good care of
yourself.
You may need
help."
Comment: "How To Survive A Break
Up"
Breaking up
Nobody likes to hurt another person,
especially somebody they have been close to, and it is often very easy to
guilt trip somebody into staying with you when they are trying to end
things.
Resist this urge!
When you use guilt as a way to stop
a break up you not only cheat yourself out of having a good and true
relationship, you foster resentment in the other person which could lead
to greater pain and heart ache in the future. "
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From
http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites
/F/family/21st/survive_more.html
"you will survive! Don't let a break-up
poison your future
Who says breaking up is hard to do?
Some people find it so easy they can walk out with no warning and never look
back. For them, it's off with the old and on with the
new.
But the person who's been dumped has
a harder time adjusting – all the more if the break-up is unexpected
or their partner disappears with no further contact. Unable to ask what went
wrong, they're left with a burden of anger, bewilderment and grief that has
no clear outlet.
They may even feel ashamed, either
for failing at the relationship or for being foolish enough to love such
a selfish rat."
From http://answers.yahoo.com/question/
index?qid=20060615154200AA33o8K
"Q. How to Survive a Break
up!?
My boyfriend just told me last sunday
that he slept with another girl. He said it was b/c we weren't married. Yes
we both said we'd take a break for a week (it was 3 days). well we never
gave any rules. But now he said he doesn't know what his feelings for me
are. He also said i deserve better than him so he said he doesn't think we
should be together anymore. We have been together for 3 1/2 years. We have
a 2yr old. I was hope'n for this to work. But now im not so sure. How do
I move one and survive?
A. YOU WILL ,, THINK OF UR KID AS
THE REASON WHY TO SURVIVE...
Look a break up is never fun... and
ur broken heart will heal..be glad he told you this now.. and accept it and
move on..you do TRUTH LY deserve better and will have better...live for your
kid and only him... He should be the only reason ....good luck ...im if you
need to talk more..
A. Survival is very hard - my advice
to you is to give all the love you would have given him and give it to your
child who is worth your time and energy. If you leave your bf alone for a
long while he will some how miss something nice about you. Don't call him
- just show him that you are in control of yourself. It will be hard but
you can do it."
From
http://www.teentouch.org/coping_dating.asp
"HOW TO SURVIVE A
BREAK-UP
Nobody enjoys a break-up, no matter
how old they are. Ending a relationship can be messy and
painful.
If you're the person breaking up,
here's how to do it quickly and directly, with minimal damage to both
parties:
Do it
face-to-face.
And do it
privately.
Don't accuse or
blame.
This only increases the hurt and the
likelihood of an argument or the person saying, "I'll
change."
Avoid "making a
case".
You want the break-up to seem like
it was fated to happen and not the result of anyone's behaviour. Simply say,
"I want to go out with other people," or "I guess I don't feel the way I
used to." Make it clear that your feelings have changed and that it's not
the other person's fault.
Now you have to put the pieces back
together, but the pieces aren't going back the same way they did before.
What can you do?
Time is your best friend in surviving
a break-up. Keep busy. The busier you are, the less time you have to feel
miserable.
Talk is your next-best friend. Find
someone you trust and who you feel will understand and help you get through
this difficult time.
Take it one day at a time. Things
usually have a tendency to get better. It's just a matter of getting through
each day, and the next one becomes a little easier.
From
http://depts.washington.edu/hhpccweb
/article-detail.php?ArticleID=363&ClinicID=13
"How to Survive a
Breakup
The end of a relationship is one of
the more painful and stressful things people experience. As a culture, we
have no clear-cut rituals for ending relationships or saying good-bye to
valued others. We are often unprepared for the variety of feelings we experience
in the process. Sometimes, the emotions that come up after a break-up can
catch us off-guard and impact our functioning at school, work, and with other
friends."
From
http://www.forbeginners.info/dating/breaking-up-2.htm
"How to Survive a Bad
Breakup
Try to understand why the relationship
failed, but remember not to blame yourself or analyze the matter until you
feel crazy. Realize that if your partner wanted to be with you, you could
have worked out your differences in other ways than by breaking up. Blaming
him or her will also not do you any good, because even if it was his fault,
all you are doing is defining yourself to others as a victim. It is a sad
truth that you cannot have a relationship with someone who will not have
a relationship with you."
From
http://wandering-nomad.livejournal.com/90792.html
"How to survive a
breakup.
So that's it then, he/she's done with
you, what do you do with your life now? I will guide you through the next
few months of existance.
First of all, let's get one thing
straight. The phrase "Let's just be friends" or the more popular variation
"We can still be friends" is a thinly disguised code-phrase. In reality "Let's
just be friends" means "I never want to witness your presence again you pathetic
fetid wasting pile, but I don't want you to feel bad about it." This is the
first major bound you have to make in getting through a breakup. Once you've
established this, you can move on. Only once in recorded history has a couple
remained friends after a breakup, in the early Renniasance, and the friendship
lasted only as long as the effects of the alcohol.
The method of the breakup is irrelevant.
But this instruction assumes that you're at home to begin with. So if you
were broken up with over the phone/e-mail/them walking up to your door/instant
messanger/carrier pigeon/fireworks/skywriting/graffiti/singing telegram/tv
evangelist. Then these instructions are for you. If you are unfortunate to
have this happen to you in a public place then drag yourself back home by
your lips and adjust the time accordingly."
Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru, is the author
of How to Get Over a Breakup, an instantly
available online webBook, downloadable ebook, and website designed to help
you understand and heal from a broken heart, and How
to STOP Your Breakup, an instantly available webBook, downloadable
ebook, and website designed to help you STOP or reverse your breakup and
get your ex back. Both are available on this site and are free when you
join our
community.
Please
leave your comments , suggestions, and advice for how to survive a break
up:
~~~~~
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