How to Deal With a Break Up Advice

Learn how to deal with a break up! One of the best ways to deal with a break up is to learn how to accept it. The more you fight accepting it, the harder it will be to deal with the break up. Acceptance and forgiveness are the two key ingredients to finding peace and happiness in any situation, and especially so when concerning a relationship break up.

One of the best ways to learn how to deal with a break up and emerge a better person is to read our very own ebook here, How to Get Over a Break Up. You'll be so glad you did!

I don't think there is an ideal way of course, everyone should do what feels good for them. Bu I can tell you how I dealt with my break up that was, for me, the mother of all break ups...

I was with my ex for 9 years and was very much dependent on him, not only emotionally, but also financially (or so I thought) we didn't have children, but we had everything else, we just bought an apartment a few months before the break up, we had pets, our whole families were very much expecting us to stay together forever. The break up was totally one sided, he just left me. I really thought that I would die, I felt like nothing good is ever going to happened and that there's no way I can learn to live on my own.

But then again, 2 years later, I'm married to a wonderful person, I learned to be brave and independent, I made new friends and had a lot of adventures and actually that break up was the best thing that ever happened to me.

How did I do it?! by not surrendering to depression or to denial. By letting myself be as sad as possible and really let myself express and feel my sadness and anger and heart break. By not trying to stay friend, not only with him but with most of our mutual friends and by just moving on with my life when the time was right.

I guess it is a little like pulling off a band aid - it's better done quick so you'll have the energy avaliable to deal with your own emotions off the matter. A really good thing I did was to let myself get very very angry. I truly wished him death in a freak car accidents and so on. I told people how angry I was. Not trying to understand the other side, and focusing more on understanding my own feeling was a huge help.

1. Feel, I know it feels like letting those emotions out would be destructive, but really it's the best thing you can do, so cry, be depressed, be angry, don't be afraid of your own emotions.

2. avoid your ex - I'm not saying don't go out of the apartment, but also, don't go to the places the two of you used to hang out, if he/she wants to stay friends, refuse. There's no way to turn a lover into a friend without the buffer zone of time and recovery. Meeting them might sooth the pain for a short time, but it doesn't help you recover from the pain.

3. Therapy - I couldn't afford it at the time, but I think that this is the perfect time and way to process your feelings and also learn about your relationship patterns and how to break them.

4. Blog - That was a good way for me to express my own emotions and later on to get support and love and help from people who were reading it.

5. Understanding that this is a sucky time in life and that it's not going last forever."

Hello me and my boyfriend broke up yesturday which was feb.28 2008. I don't know how I am going to move on all by myself because I see him everywhere he rides my bus, and lives down the street from me. I just need help how to get over him please help me

You've only been broken up one day and you might be back together again tomorrow.

Meanwhile, make sure he doesn't see you as desperate. Don't beg and do keep a happy smile on your face when he is around. He is certainly more likely to want to be back with you if you are not moping around.

Dealing with an ex-boyfriend can be a hectic task. Having to deal with an ex-boyfriend at work can be even worse. First off there is the golden rule at work which states never to date a co-worker, but it is because I broke such rule that I am writing this article. It can all be a big nightmare. Not all hope is lost however, there is a chance of survival."

From http://malaysia.answers.yahoo.com/question
/index?qid=20080222160634AABHZql

"There is no reason for anyone to want to kill themselves. There is someone for everyone, she is not the only or the last woman on earth. My motto is if someone you care for makes you cry they don't care for you and they aren't worth the tears. Trust me you will find someone and they will love you just as much if not more then you love them. And only time heals pain, no one can tell you how to deal with a break up, because everyone deals with everything differently. Keep your head up, and good luck to finding that special someone."

From http://raining-noodles.blogspot.com/2005/11/
aunt-agony-2-break-up-survival.html

I broke up with my boyfriend recently. It's been hell even though my girlfriends are here for me, thank god. A few days ago I found a stack of letters to and from him. The ones I wrote but never dared to send him, and the ones he wrote to me. I cried when I read them. I want to forget him and yet I miss him too. What should I do with the letters?

A. Do you seek closure? Closure means tying up the emotional loose ends for good, not unlike emotional spring-cleaning. It means coming to terms with the end and moving on for good. As you have mentioned, the letters still hurt you. Not too wise to keep reading them, in my opinion.

Because I suspect the problem goes further back than just those letters, I'll write about how to deal with a break-up as well."

I was seeing this guy. He goes to college and he’s about 40 minutes away. I met him through one of my friends that graduated. He and I kept in touch since we had met. He seemed like a great guy. He did all the right things, told me I was beautiful... blah blah blah. I fell for him quite hard. He took my kissing virginity and really was the first guy I'd been in a relationship with. But to tell you the truth, I felt a lot of pressure from him. He wanted me to do whatever he wanted me to do because he was older than me. For example, he didn't think that we could make a long-distance relationship work, but he didn't want me to go on dates with other guys. So I did what he wanted me to do.

After about two months, of a "non-relationship”, he broke things off. He said that we had too many things going against us. We still write each other about 2-3 times a day. I feel like I should let him go, but there's a part of me that just feels like I won't meet anyone else like him. Should I keep in contact with him? Should I let him go and stop trying to be friends with him? Thanks, -Confused.

* confused it is an extreme challenge to end a relationship when there were so many feelings involved.

* A first relationship is tough to let go. Guys sometimes will tell a girl everything that she wants to hear to win her over. Once, he has won her over if he really didn't have a sincere interest they will look for an excuse to let her go."

my girlfriend left me today. I love(d) her so so much, she was my life, my world, my everything and I could tell her anything, I am calling her to talk tonight for a chat as I have a problem at the moment and some things I want to say to her, we have agreed to remain friends, she has said no more than that but I would like to think that MAYBE we can be together again, I just dont know though, but anyway I am wondering how I can get over the break up, she knows its made me sad and she is sorry for it so thats are starting point I spose.....please only give advice if you want to help me here as this is genuine,

A. I know it's cliche but it's true ..... time does heal all wounds. That being said, you need to take a little time for you. It's great that you and your ex want to be friends but you just broke up today and you are already moving on to the friendship part in the same day? That's mighty fast. You haven't given yourself any time to heal and get over what is clearly a very painful situation.

For now, if you are contacting her .... stop! If she is the one contacting you, then don't take her calls, avoid her instant messages. Take time for YOU! It may take a week, may take a month but for now you need to get yourself together if you are ever truly going to be able to be a good friend to your ex, but most importantly for your own sanity and well being. You deserve it."

ok... does anyone know any good songs on how to deal with a break up or moving along (besides "move along") and getting over the relationship. I wanna find a group of songs to put on a cd for my friend. PLEASE HELP!!! list as many songs that you can think of!!

A. Sometimes, excepting that you are in pain and wallowing in it (but only for a short amount of time, lol) helps.

I have broken up with my Boy friend of four years I recently found out that he made another girl pregnant he swore to me that he would never hurt me and break my heart what must i do now?

WE, as in all of us who have been dumped, have to admit that there are people we fall in love with who really don't give a rats ass about us. We love with all our hearts then have to go thru the pain of a broken heart while they are out there having a great time.

I know what you are saying because I loved my ex with all my heart and she turned around and lied and cheated on me several times yet I still have love for her. Its hard to understand why we can still care for these people but I guess the only answer is that we know what TRUE LOVE is and they never will.

I too have times when I hate her then wish she would realize what she threw away and come back, but that will never happen.

I just want to turn off the struggle in my head and move on and love again and not give a rats ass about her "

Comments (page 2 of 2):

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salma :

Posted 7 hours ago

i broke with my boyfriend because he said bad words to my mom and for me too in front of my friends in the university ... it was hurt a lot that's all happen because i went to a birthday party and he get angry ..and his friend push him to hurt me and back his gifts from me .. but i didn't give it to him , i couldn't hit him i just scream and i said to him to get out of my life , i was imparsing .hurt ,shock,,,, it was a relationship for 2 years and 1 month and 7 days .............

marco :

Posted 65 days ago

i recently broke up with my girlfriend i did love her with all my heart and and i tried i give her everything i can but i guess it wasnt for her she always told me that she was used to be on here own and i tried to show her that i was ok to acept my help and that i didnt want anything in return just her love but before all this when we were at 3months of been together everything was fine and then her best firend took her out clubing and me being a nice guy i let her go and she calls me and tells me that she ran into her ex-boyfirend and he was buing her drinks and they danced and he kiss her and she moved away shortly after that day everything went down hill she get mad for everything she even told me a couple of thimes that she want to be single cause she want to do whatever she wanted to do without hurting me but the real reason is because her bestfirend is not married and she go home with any guy that she wanted and she saw that and she wanted to do the same thing the day before we broke up she went with her firend clubing she calls me and tells me that she almost left with some guy and what stop her was me of cause i didnt belive her cause i called her 30 mintues when the club close and no answer then she called me at 4 in the moring and she never did that to me she used to stay with me on the phone until she get home but this was differnt i think she did cheated on me because of that fact it and to make things worst is the fact that she had 3kids which it didnt borther me cause i love kids i would take them out to the movies or toeat pizza i would buy them stuff they need for school and colthes and they started to call me daddy and on the day we broke up i went to speak to her at her home i walk in and told her that i could speak to her and she came out and her whole famliy come out too she told them a different story and i told them the turth that she cheated on me her dad and mom told her u stupid dumb ... how could u do that to him he was perfect for u he did everything for u take out the kids even thuogh thier not his she started to cry i had everything she and the kids ga

tasha :

Posted 93 days ago

i recently broke up with my boyf of 18mths we done n e think together an i really did love him he got everythin off me i bought him everythin paid for meals nights out if he wanted somethink i did it he done nothin 4 me unless i told him to or shouted at him if it was up 2 him we would sit in everyn8 and do nothin, we argued all the time an i was always insecure when he went out, he gave me loads of chances to change but i never did i thought he would always stay with me no matter what i sed or stopped him from doing, but one day he just sed he had enough and we was over i told him i would change but he said hes heard it all before. the 1st 2 days i left him and didnt contact him atall but it was maken me worse i couldnt eat talk or sleep it was hurting like mad i even got in bed with my mum and dad at one point coz i felt that lonley and im 22, i eventually rang him and begged him to give me another chance but he said he doesnt think He can, i am now holding on to the THINK part in that sentence, i seen him yesterday an he gave me a lift as he was goin my way! we spoke like it was normally about how r days at work was and talked about christmas, i felt like we was gettin some were. today iv txt him askin him how his day was but got no reply so then i called him and he never answered i then txt him tellin him iv changed in the week we have been aprt and never will get back the way i used to be he still hasnt txt back,my head is everywere i just wana sort this out! he wants to be friends but i cant coz i love him and just wana hug an kiss him i want him back so much, i deleted his number and all messages, i no his number off by heart so that hasnt helped i really dont no what to do, ill do n e think to get him back, please can some1 help. thanks

happy :

Posted 128 days ago

I broke up with my girlfriend who I had been going on two years with. I felt she had betrayed me a lot and could not keep her self from saying hurtful things. So I ended it. and it feels great! I cannot tell you how happy I am about that decision; however, at first, for the few weeks of the break up, I really was hating her. I went a Christian seminar on how to forgive deal with hurts, then, I forgave her. Now, I only feel happy and like a brand new whole and happy person. And I took your advice on avoiding her, and not staying friends. Cheers!

ria :

Posted 187 days ago

My guy broke up with me yesterday. it is so freaking nightmare for the both of us. He lied to me as well as my friends. They planned everything to hide their mistakes. The most hurtful thing was they let my boyfriend lied to me. i can say that it was just a piece of white lies but it hurts. i cant accept what they have done to me. they are all ... . i let my bf decide regarding our relationship. He said, it is better to stay friends for friends doesnt permit someone to teel a lie, no more shortcomings, no more pain, and enjoyment will come into picture. i decided to agree with his decisions and live with it.

life hater :

Posted 222 days ago

i dont know why im writting this mayb to get this off my chest or for help i dont really know but here does ....
my boyfriend of couple months broke up with me by text and claimed that he was hurting too much and that work was in the way but work has never been a problem and im slightly confused and hurt. i will tell myself not to cry after him but every song, his friends, place we used to go just make me cry
how can i get over it? not cry at every stupid thing?

living in pain :

Posted 291 days ago

Well here is my story. I have been with my boyfriend 12 yrs 6 months 2 weeks and 1 day. we have lived together for 10 of those years. He is a great person, my best friend. This past year of our relationship has taken a complete turn. He has started to mentally and sexually abuse me. I do know that I don't deserve that, but after 12 yrs of dedicating my life to this relationship it isn't any easier to say goodbye. I still love the person that he is when he isn't upset. I have no idea how to cope. What makes it worse is that I also lost my job of 10 yrs. he is the person that I go to and I can't.

torn :

Posted 292 days ago

my boyfriend of five yrs broke up with me today. he told me that he doesn't want 2 b with me any more. he really broke my heart because we were already planning our wedding. i'm so confused because i don't know if he 's cheating on me & wants out or if he just wants space.......we always fight & whenever we get back 2gether it's only because i am the fool who cries & begs. He told me to stop callin him that what we had was good but that i would eventually get over it. he also told me that i should move on with my life. how can someone tell u that they love you & miss you one day & the nxt day tell u that they don 't want 2 be with you?

sadi :

Posted 324 days ago

you know,i have a broken heart now,he broke my heart 5 or more times.when ever he did it after a while he came and wanted me to back,and i accept that after 5 or 6 times he insisted on.
every time he was good and kind for 1 month or more but after that he started to annoy me with lots of ways i think he got used to me the last time started about 3 month age and finish 2 weeks ago in these 2 weaks i am just crying and a can't sleep beacause when i wake up i feel disapointed a lot and i want to commite a suicide he break up with me with no good reason just beacause i told him in our last argument i don't like to hear you any more i told but just beacause he made me angri with his words and their words remind me of the past time and his annoying works after 1 weak i called him again but he said now i don't want hear u anymore leave me alone i'm realy upset please tell me is that my fault pleaseeee? i realy want to know

dr.me :

Posted 390 days ago

What I have done in the past to get over my break up was to talk to other girls, shave my face, get a hair cut, buy some new clothes, and just spend time on myself. You have to spend time on yourself to build up that confidence. What really helps me is working out because the better i look on the outside is the same i feel about myself in the inside. The world is overpopulated and there are many girls and many guys, you just have to realize what else is out there. Move on and focus on the positive things going on for you.

Jose :

Posted 429 days ago

So im really in love with my ex. Our first couple months were the best. We were really in love. My ex would even say that she would kill herself if i wasnt with her.
But after a while things went down. Around our 7 month Anniv. i broke up with her but only because we were constantly fighting and i was only making her suffer. But i regreted it and i begged her to take me back. I spend 2 months doing that until she got a new bf. Then i gave up and moved on. I was talking to another girl 2 weeks after i learned she had a new bf.
She then came to me telling me that she made a mistake and wanted me back. Against my better judgement i left the other girl to get back with my ex. Then after 3 weeks of being back together she told me that she had made another mistake and didnt love me anymore and broke up with me again.
I think she got with in the first place because she was jealous of me dating another girl. I still love my ex. Im always thinking about her and in depression while she's out with her friends and enjoying life. Does anyone have any advice.

simplydaniele :

Posted 475 days ago

i met this guy weve been together for 1 month only. he ended our relationship because he told me that hes still inlove with his ex-gf. i dont know why our break up really hurts. its been two years now i already have my new boyfriend, but when i saw him together with his girl on friendster and i felt hurt and cried. i have so many questions in mind. do you think i still love him. thank you

simplydaniele :

Posted 475 days ago

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