|After a Break
Up - What Next?
Okay, the worse is over...or is it? The
break up was the easy part compared to life after a break up.
Be prepared to hurt, and cry, and be angry,
and be scared, and lose all sense of self-esteem.
The good news is that there IS LIFE AFTER
A BREAK UP...you just have to learn how to find it.
Below we have hints and suggestions taken
for life 'after a break up' that we found from around the web. Be sure to
add your own signs or comments at the end of the page!
Life After Breaking Up
"Getting Back Into the Dating Game
After A Bad Break Up
Breaking up is hard to do, but getting
back into the dating game can be even harder, especially if it has been a
while and you aren't psychologically prepared for it.
Being psychologically prepared means
getting out of your own way and having faith that fate will provide you with
another partner, just as it has so many times before.
Your first step is to heave that
chip off your shoulder, get out of your bathrobe, get a make over and stop
spending your nights in front of the television watching "Cheaters" or calling
your friends for sympathy.
If you don't feel that you are not
quite done wallowing in self pity or anger, by all means continue as you
were, but realize that there will come a day, sooner or later, when you will
become bored with yourself and want to face the real world
Once you have cried, screamed, wailed,
stopped blaming, stopped shaming and forgiven yourself (as well as your ex)
you are ready to go on to the next step towards becoming a bearable human
How do you know when you're ready
to move on after a break up? Some women just wake up one day feeling better,
while for others it takes time and patience. Find your inner strength, and
you can't go wrong.
At 27, I found myself standing on
a Manhattan sidewalk, staring into the scruffy face of yet another huge dating
disaster. Lied to , mistreated and...
If 2005 was the year of the celebrity
baby boom, 2006 is shaping up to be the year of the breakup boom --
I stayed with my ex for more than
five years of total dishonesty. He cheated the whole time, and, like a fool,
"Depression After a Break
Lost love. It's difficult to think
of great literature without this enduring theme. Would, for example, Emily
Bronte's Heathcliff and his passion for Cathy have captured our imaginations
if they had lived happily ever after in Wuthering Heights? And would Romeo
and Juliet have been as memorable if they had quietly married with the blessing
of their families?
Unfortunately, what makes for great
reading doesn't play out well in real life. As in recovering from a grave
physical injury, healing a broken heart takes time and care. If time doesn't
ease your grief, or it interferes with your work or your ability to connect
with friends and relatives, you probably need professional help: You may
be battling a case of severe depression."
"remain friends with a partner after
a break up
*I’m still friends with all
but 3 of my exes, and those are the ones that got physically violent. Some
of my best friends were exes, and it’s great.
*There are only a few girls that
I’ve remained friends with after we broke up. It can take years, or
it could just go that way. It’s a thin line between staying friends
and getting back together. It can be tough, but friends are
*Her birthday will be this month
on the eighth, just days away. She’s planning a little shindig down
in the village, to which I was not directly invited but know about anyway.
I don’t want to go.
I want to wish her a happy birthday
but I don’t want to make contact yet. I’m not prepared, not yet.
Soon, perhaps, soon I will be."
"How to Comfort a Friend After a
* STEP 1: Spend time with your friend,
ideally in person.
* STEP 2: Let your friend talk. If
he or she is not talking, encourage it. Keep lots of tissues
* STEP 3: Try distractions. Movies,
sightseeing, outdoor activities and games are good
* STEP 4: Indulge your friend with
chocolates, massages, facials, shopping sprees - whatever lets him or her
concentrate on pleasure instead of pain.
* STEP 5: Send a card to lift your
friend's spirits if you can't be there in person.
* STEP 6: Be patient. Some things
take a long time to get over.
"Healing and Moving Forward After
a Break Up
Healing and Moving Forward After
While many of you may be at different
stages dealing with the end of a relationship, the issues you face have a
great deal in common. Usually there is shock and denial that your partner
has ended the relationship. Then, there are a variety of emotions. Sadness,
anger, fear, frustration, hopelessness and despair.
Since I am speaking to many people
at once I’d like to start by saying we all cope as best we can in every
single crisis we face. We use the defenses that are familiar to us and those
coping mechanisms are in place since childhood to help us handle difficult
experiences. The most common ones are denial and trying to control a situation
that we actually cannot control. Does this make sense to
Join our community and get
our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup and win your ex back
Find out how to mend your brokenheart caused by a broken relationship. Advice
from The Breakup Guru.
She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard
women want, and never get dumped again!
Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you
" How to Reinvent Yourself After
a Break Up (girls)
You know how it feels, one minute
you think that both of you were made for each other and the next...dumped.
Then you cry yourself out of existence, wishing you were prettier or sexier
or something, right? Well, dry your tears and stop wasting time. The best
way to make your ex desperately want you back... well, is to make him want
1. Exercise: Stop eating those
chocolates. Sure they help you ease your pain away but in the long run...
whoo boy, those pounds sure add up. Instead of snacking, start exercising.
One, it helps create a better image. Two, better confidence. Three, it's
scientifically proven to make people happier. Those three reasons should
be more than enough to make you start moving, but if they don't, this might:
exercising doesn't have to be limited to your house or the gym. Go attend
a class, do something you've never done before, have fun (and you might find
yourself another guy to ease the memories of the ex
2. Makeover: There's nothing like
a good pampering to ease all the troubles away, so splurge! While you're
at the spa, stop by the salon and get a new haircut (a new hairstyle, not
just a trim). Oh, it's too expensive? Go ask around some hairsalons for their
training days for their interns or buy a home coloring kit and redo your
own hair. Even better, get a group of friends and host a home spa. All you
have to do is go online, find some recipes, go grocery shopping (hint: more
singles to interact with) and have a fun bonding moment with your friends
(if you didn't dump them all when you got a boyfriend).
3. Wardrobe: Ugh, those outdated
outfits… yeah, they have to go. If you like some of them then great,
keep them, but if they remind you of your ex or don’t really compliment
you…donate them to goodwill. Go shopping (hint: another opportunity)
and splurge.. after all that’s what women do best. Once again, if things
are too expensive, go to the outlet, sales at the mall, or thrift stores,
where you can find one-of-a-kind gems for a one-of-a-kind
4. Scent: If you’ve been wearing
that same-old tired perfume, maybe it’s time to give it a proper burial.
Splurge (and there is no scrimping on this) on a really nice perfume like
Chanel or Gucci, but stay away from garbage or fakes! Go for something more
exotic or elegant than the one you used to wear. "
Healing After a Break Up or
The loss of a relationship can be incredibly
hard - you can feel so much pain. There's not only the grief from losing
someone important in your life, but the pain of seeing your hopes and dreams
of a future life together disappear as well.
" How soon can I date after a
I'm a college sophomore. Just recently,
my boyfriend of 2-1/2 years broke up with me. We haven't talked for almost
a month. Since that time, I have done many positive things to change my life
and myself. I'm wondering about dating. Is it too early? How do I go about
it? Is it okay for me to date when I'm not at all over my ex? Or, should
I hound him to give me closure, and do I need closure? Can I just move on?
Should I ignore my feelings of being used and abused
After a significant relationship
has ended non-mutually, the partner who has been "dumped" often wonders about
similar issues to yours. Dealing with these issues and feelings are the next
steps that need to be taken. Through some personal exploration, you'll learn
the best choice(s) to help you move on.
You were with your boyfriend for
two-and-a-half years, which allowed you to develop and foster a relationship
in which you got to know and care for him. It's natural for you to be "not
at all over" him right now, as it's been only about one month since the break-up.
Not enough time may have passed for you to get over him... yet. You are grieving
the loss of your relationship and may still need more time to
"Five Things You Should Do After
a Break Up
1. Go Away-
2. Make a Pros/Cons
4. Change Your
5. Therapy- "
"Q. I have been broken hearted after
a break-up. A friend was there for me.We have gotten very very
Originally I met him, on a night
out, I think I gave him the wrong moby no. We had some wine in his house
after as we both live 20 mins away from each other. He was off traveling
with work, I didn't hear from him but i between 2 moby numbers, the following
week I was upset when I didn't get a text and it dawned on me that I may
have given him the wrong prefix. He made a big impression on me. Shortly
after a guy asked me out and well I couldn't wait around obviously. Then
I bumped into the first guy in the same pub a few weeks into the relationship.
My new bf was gone home for the wkend. He asked me for my moby number again,
I told him the story that I just met someone etc but I did give him my number,
of course( i liked him from the start)
However my relationship developed
and went on for months. The other guy text me several times for coffee, but
I told him it wasn't a personal thing, just that I was still seeing the guy.
I am not a peson to meet aomeone else really if I am
A. I think this is normal don't worry
Remember one thing Live in Today tomorrow will be too late so enjoy your
life who knows what will happen tomorrow. Best of Luck
A. I don't think your heart is broken.
i think you are just hurt from something you believed in that wasn't true.
my advice is to not rush into things or believe something until it is
A. it sounds like you have allowed
yourself to be in a situation that gives you an easy way out while you are
still recovering from your previous relationship .......... also known as
the rebound ......... if you have gone into a relationship too quickly after
finishing one you tend to date people that are safe ......... you date the
nice guy that won't hurt you and that will build up your self worth .........
once that goal has been reached and you feel good about yourself again you
no longer want to date him and you move on . problem is that if you don't
change that part about yourself that allowed you to be in the first bad
relationship ........ your next one will be almost the same after you are
done with the rebound guy ........... stay single for a little while and
get yourself in a better place emotionally and mentally .........
"Moving on after breaking up, by
How do you recover from a major break-up?
Life Coach, Caro Handley, guides us through the emotional
We’ve all been there. Breaking
up with someone you love is one of the most painful situations you ever have
to face. In the aftermath of rejection, the hurt, the misery, the loneliness
and the feeling that the future just disappeared, look as though they’ll
go on forever.
As a Life Coach I often meet new
clients who are struggling to recover from a break-up which has left them
totally demoralised and afraid that they’ll never fall in love so deeply
"Bouncing back after a
What do you do when the woman you
love says she doesn’t feel the same way?
There’s a perception out there
– and I blame women’s magazines – that only women suffer from
break-up blues. When a woman gets dumped, her life falls apart and she spends
weeks crying on the shoulders of her sympathetic girlfriends. When a man
gets dumped, he shrugs his shoulders, switches on the rugby, salutes his
new-found freedom and downs a can of beer.
This is, of course, a load of rubbish.
Yes, sometimes we act macho when it comes to women and relationships –
especially when we’re in the pub with our mates – but, under all
that bravado are feelings. And those feelings get hurt just like our female
1. Bite your tongue
2. Put yourself in her shoes
3. Hit the road, Jack
4. Surround yourself with people who care about you
5. Give yourself time to mourn
6. Keep busy
7. Don’t look for revenge
8. Talk about it
9. Don’t talk too much
10. Put pen to paper
11. Avoid painful places
12. Remove the words ‘if only’ from your vocabulary
13. Know when it’s over
14. Remember the good times
15. Be wary of friendship
16. Move on
17. Beware the rebound
18. Don’t compare
19. Learn from your mistakes"
" The Courage to Rebuild After a
Break-up or Divorce, by Michele Germain, LCSW
Your body holds the wisdom of your
deepest self. It is where the life force flows and where you feel the joy
and pleasure of your life. It is also where you feel the grace that comes
from your connection to God, higher power, or intelligent energy in the universe.
Your body also holds your personal history. This is where your feelings originate
and where you experience your sorrows, disappointments and losses that life
brings your way.
In times of crisis often there is
a tendency to disconnect from the body to avoid the pain of a loss. This
begins at an early age and continues through adulthood. It becomes an unconscious
pattern. The body then becomes a machine instead of a source of strength
and guidance. As you begin to rebuild your life, stay present and aware of
what is going on in your body. Begin now to use your body as a compass as
you learn about the inner and outer work of healing following a divorce or
"When You Break-Up, Act That
You’ve seen them on campus walking
to class together and even studying in adjoining study carrels. This is the
couple that made their break-up public last month, but they still seem to
be spending the majority of their time together. Don’t let this be you.
Friendship is possible after a break-up but give your heart time to heal.
Disconnect for a while until you can truly just be friends. Even if your
ex is in the same classes as you are, you can cope and keep your
Bob Dylan — Blood on the
What better an album to listen to during
or after a break-up than one that was written during or after a break-up?
Blood on the Tracks, largely inspired by Dylan's disintegrating marriage
to Sara Lownds, is one of his finest works. Bookended by two of the great
Dylan songs, Tangled up in Blue and Buckets of Rain, Blood
on the Tracks runs the full gamut of break-up emotions. From the lament
of in You're A Big Girl Now, to the anger of Idiot Wind to
the sense of loss and longing of If You See Her Say Hello, Blood
on the Tracks is an insight into what it means to lose somebody you
"No break-up is pleasant. But you
cannot stop living after a break-up. At the same time a break-up hurts badly.
What are the ways to avoid break-ups? How to improve relationships and how
to manage your emotions after a break-up? These are the topics you will see
in this section. If your selection of the partner is right, you reduce the
chances of a break-up considerably."
"What Do You Remember After A Break-Up
- The Love Or The Hatred?
All of you get into a relationship
because you feel euphoric love for your partner. You love whatever your partner
does. That love makes you feel very good. You experience great joy and feel
special. All this changes over a period of time for some of
"Focus on you.
Take the time right after a break-up
to examine your life. Get in tough with what’s really important to you.
Often in a relationship, especially a long term relationship, our passions
and goals get intermingled with our partner’s. Sometimes, we can even
forget the things that we really love and enjoy."
"How To Cope With a Break
Get back in the
After you feel like you've taken
enough time to gather your thoughts and emotions, don't be afraid to get
back into the scene- dating, going out or whatever that may be. It's normal
to feel the need for "alone time" right after a break up. Just be sure not
to isolate yourself for too long. Try going out and meeting new people when
you feel ready. By doing this, you're not discounting your old relationship
or ignoring the fact that you may need closure or time to heal; you're simply
starting the process of moving on."
"Tips For Dating Again After Losing
Your Special Someone
Losing someone you love through death,
divorce or break up is one of the most gut wrenching things we face in life.
It alters our outlook, our social status and especially our routine. With
our special someone, we have a set routine, the things we do naturally and
comfortably. Losing someone causes our whole world to change. But there are
some positives that come from that change. Here are a few tips to help you
refocus your life:
1. Choose Joy.
2. Change Your
3. Make A List.
4. Keep A
5. Don't Hide.
Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru, is the author
of How to Get Over a Breakup, an instantly
available online webBook, downloadable ebook, and website designed to help
you understand and heal from a broken heart, and How
to STOP Your Breakup, an instantly available webBook, downloadable
ebook, and website designed to help you STOP or reverse your breakup and
get your ex back. Both are available on this site and are free when you
leave your comments and advice on coping after a break up, or moving on after
breaking up suggestions:
No comments NO MORE due to spambots
Needing help, guidance
or support with your breakup? Understanding and a sympathetic ear? Or just
want to talk with others who are going through the same thing? Then join
our ever popular Message Boards and Forums, and visit with others who know
how the pain of breakup feels. Learn coping skills, hints, clues...or just
vent a little.Not only that, but all our wonderful webBooks are FREE when
you join! We invite you to join us...you can feel better today